Growing up I couldn’t understand why other kids had fathers and I didn’t. I thought my uncles were my fathers. I took sex education in school and knew my mom had to get pregnant from somewhere. When I reached the age of 16 I was curious about his identity. First, I begged my mom to tell me but she refused and only had bits and pieces of who he was from my aunt. My aunt told me about my biological father and left out a few details, she did tell me he was on the front page of the newspaper but never said why. My mom, she never wanted to tell me about this man and I couldn’t understand why. She said to leave it alone; do you want to embarrass me? Finally, I started to look in the library for his name because his name appeared in the newspaper around the time I was born. I had to research it; I came up with NOTHING and let it go. In 2010 my life has been upside down since my mom finally told me who he was. I asked my mom, “Mom I know my bio dad was like 50 when I was born so why did you date somebody that old?” She was only 28 years old at the time. She said she did not date him and that he was my grandfather’s friend from the San Luis Valley and he needed a place to stay so he can look for a job around August of 1947. I don’t think my grandfather knew that this man was evil. This so called friend’s name Aguilar quietly entered my mom’s bedroom. He forcibly raped my mom. I asked her why she did not scream.  She stated he covered her mouth with one hand and with the other hand he wrapped it around her throat. She was scared that this man would strangle her then hurt my grandparents so she didn’t inform them. When my grandfather found out that morning he kicked him out of the house. My uncles waited for this man down the block to beat him up. My mom became pregnant because of this rape. I left my mom’s house in tears knowing I was a product of that rape, I became so devastated. I asked my mother did she know that was rape. She said back in those days, rape was kept quiet.  I also found the newspaper clipping in 2013 but it wasn’t the front page and there was no picture but what I found was very upsetting as you will see below.

manuel aguilar

Not only did this man rape my mother, he also murdered his wife’s mother 2 years later.   Like the coward he was, he committed suicide on the spot.  After learning this and knowing that I had a sibling out there.  I researched and found that I had a brother and I reunited with my brother from this evil man.   It’s not his fault, after all, it was his grandmother he killed.   He said he would stay in touch but he hasn’t and that’s okay.  I also met his mom in which she fell in love with me.  I also found that I have several other siblings who live in California and New Mexico.   I will never meet them but have talked with my niece on   All that matters that they know I exist and under the circumstances that I came to exist.

This seems so unreal to me and even now I can’t believe this is happening to me. My mom’s trauma caused my memories to come forward about my own rape as a child. I cried for two weeks. As I still cry deep inside, now I know why my mom didn’t want me to know who he was. Why didn’t I see the flags? My mom explained to me recently that she wanted to abort me, she didn’t love me in the beginning; didn’t want me for the first two years of my life and was going to give me to her sister.  I reminded her of her rape and they didn’t have abortions at that time (only back alley abortions).  She tried to abort me herself she said.  You don’t want to know in what manner.  Just know I was born with missing bones and legally blind in one eye.

So now I understood that I am now a survivor of rape and my conception is from rape and that my mom gave birth to a child from a violent act of Rape. Like most rape victims they take showers to get the dirt off of them or violent act. She finally learned to love me. Till this day passed her 90 years of age she still has a hard time giving me that needed a hug because all she sees is the man that raped her. I don’t fault her and feel that she had the strength and courage to see me every day and she does love me in her way… She never… not one time ever treated me with disrespect or abuse after her acceptance of me.  I was not accepted wholeheartedly by a couple of my family members… they treated me like I was a disease and a mistake. I was raised with rejection from those family members… We can think selfishly about making decisions for women who have suffered in this tragedy… there are circumstances we need to consider. I know because I am that child of rape. Do I regret my life or living? No, and Yes but I am grateful to God for letting me know Him.  I’m in pain every day to know that this happened to my mother… I see the pain this man has caused to my mother and to the other children he fathered.  I don’t need pity but only give awareness.

In the eyes of God, I am not illegitimate or legitimate because none of us were conceived in the act of Love but our conception happened in a violent act of Rape. We are the afflicted children of God. So before speak, know what you are talking about first! People say that they don’t need to know about the tragedy of rape and all you know life should be protected. How dare you that say this to us, children of rape and the women who have been raped. Be protected from life but don’t say you don’t need to know about the tragedy of rape.  Rape is something you never forget and you can’t erase it and some women will suffer from PTSD or fall into a hole becoming an addict of drugs or alcoholism.  Some say that this child of rape will be loved but how do you know this and all of you can only assume they will? Some children who are adopted are beaten, abused, or murdered.  God protects us in His own way that is why we are the Afflicted Children of God.

I know what my mom went through but didn’t know I was a product of her rape until years later and now starts My “Triggers of Trauma”.



At 3 years old we lived close to where there was a circus. I remember going to the circus with my sister and brothers. The only thing that I remember was a man grabbing my hand. After that, I blocked things out. According to my family, I was kidnapped taken to an area where the riverbed flowed and just left there, left there to die. There were tire tracks of where I was dropped off. Thank God the police found me. I could have been added to this list of murdered children. This was also in the newspapers according to my family. I don’t remember any of the in-between stuff but being at the police station and eating an ice cream cone.

I remember living next to a business (Cleaners shown in the above video), where the owner gave us money and candy. I was between 4-6 years of age; he gave my brother the job of watching if anyone would come near the building. He threw me in between the pants presser. The one shown below is similar to the real thing.


Remembering him touching me where he should not have. I remember crying (as I cry now remembering) in pain and hollering “STOP” it hurts… I screamed again It HURTS, he kept on hurting me. He threatened to put my brother in the presser and burn him alive if I told anyone. I really do not remember anything else, I blocked out the rest of it. The things I do remember, it hurts like hell. Could this be the same man that kidnapped me earlier? I found out the man that owned the cleaners died some time ago. The building still stands on the corner like a demon who took my childhood from me. Why didn’t anybody notice what this man did to me? I was a child for God’s sake!

Not one time did I blame it on God but only blame Satan for the act of one man. God always has been with me and he understands me the most. You can say all you want and if you never been that person, you cannot make a decision for these women only God can as He knows our plan in life before we even know it.  God gave MAN free and choices to make whether it is evil or good.  We learn from our experiences.  In the Bible, Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute”.  Only God knows Himself the plight of those who rape.  The only thing you and I know is that the Bible says “Thou shall not kill’.  When children like me survive we suffer in living a life that shouldn’t have been?



Years later I was again raped. I dated a guy who played basketball for Trinidad College. My son and I spent the weekend and on Sunday he had to play a game in Trinidad and wanted me to go with him but I could not find a babysitter so I did not go. He had a couple of friends visiting him and had asked either one of them if they could take me home because his team was picking him up. The friend that was in the military offered to give me a ride and my boyfriend trusted him. I usually don’t get into cars with people that I don’t know. My boyfriend reassured me that I will be okay. I had to get home because I needed to go to work the next day. The guy took me home and we had a very good conversation on the way to my sister’s house. About a block before he got there he stopped the car. He pulled out a knife and threatens to kill my son if I didn’t cooperate with him. I thought I was going to die and my son also. I shook so badly but I tried not to cry; to save my son’s life I did what he asked, especially when he had the knife to my son’s heart; He threw me in the backseat of the car with the knife to my throat and my son was in the front seat crying. He told me to tell my son to walk home. I told him he is too young to walk because of the traffic. He cut my pants off and proceeded to rape me in front of my baby son. The next thing I knew the door flew open and my boyfriend grabbed him by his military pants and threw him out the car. My boyfriend told me to go home and I ran home with my son in my arms not looking back. His friend never knew exactly where I lived. I believed my boyfriend beat him up right at the car. He called me later telling me how he found out his friends plan. He asked me what was I going to do and I told him I would let him know. I was scared because this guy was in the military. I didn’t tell a soul, I didn’t go to the police nor I didn’t tell my family of the rape. I moved from my sisters’ house never calling my boyfriend back or telling him where I was. I was fearful of my life and my family’s life.

The reason why I didn’t go to the police, I have seen in the news or on the internet how the police always made the perpetrator the victim instead of the rape victim. How they made the victim feel even dirtier than she already felt. I read how the media tore into the victims of rape where they end up committing suicide. I was so afraid the military would protect their soldier. This was during the Vietnam War. I felt I didn’t have a chance. I didn’t want to go through the humiliation over again; I didn’t want to put my son through it nor my family. At that time I didn’t trust the system.


I am going to drop this right here. I wrote a poem about Rape, my true story. I mention in this poem 3x’s… I believe that all of you thought being born of Rape was my first time. That was my mother’s rape, not mine. Although, I was born from rape it still made me a victim of that crime. I made it sound like it was my first time in this poem… but…I do say there is more… The 3rd time, I have a hard time explaining. I was just a newlywed in the 80’s. My husband was in the Army and in the field when this happened. I so tried to block this from my memory as I did when being raped as a child. I was looking through my medical records and there it was… my trip to the emergency room… the policewoman who was in the hospital room with me and the medical details. I didn’t remember the actual rape because they found a date rape drug (Special K) in my blood system. I was going to the gym but I was early so I stopped at one of the nightclubs by smith road next to a Biker club. Meeting my homegirl because she had a problem and wanted to talk. I ordered one drink… and that’s all I remember only to wake up in the wrong car in the parking lot. Police were called. My husband was called. A biker friend that I knew saved me! I felt humiliated, embarrassed, and was beside myself. I tucked it in the back of my mind. I don’t like drinking from anyone’s drink (water).   If I open a bottle of anything and somebody’s has the same bottle… I get up and come back I will not touch that bottle… I have thrown a lot of bottle of waters that way even other liquid drinks. I eventually stop clubbing because of this. I stopped ordering any drinks from a club or bar. I already had PTSD from my childhood rape, the 2nd rape brought it back to the forefront but this 3rd rape and DV… deepened the effect. For a long time, I didn’t feel safe out in public, I stayed to myself. I stayed away from my Fam Fam for 10+ years. The doctors had me on Prozac for 5 of those years. I freak out still today when somebody walks behind me and touches me on my shoulder or tap me. I don’t like to be touch unless I’m the one touching first. This is the first time I have said anything about this.

In this present day of 2014, the police don’t even turn the rape kits in and still make rape victims feel like they are at fault or the perpetrators.  It’s a shame that these rape kits are sitting there or being thrown away and rapists are walking free.  It’s getting that you can’t put your trust in the police anymore.   They have become so militarized.

I don’t understand but God spared me of two potential deaths thus far wait a minute like three when my mom was pregnant with me. I know I will have to go through more sufferings in my life and this is the beginning. For everything that I have gone through, I never drank, took drugs but only knew how to fall and get back on my feet.  I never pitied myself but each time I fell I got up stronger.  This I know that Satan is truly evil and he will fight for my soul. I was not meant to be born but once I started to grow within my mother God took over. I was born on the 12th day meaning Twelve is the product of 3 the perfectly Divine and heavenly number and 4 the earthly, the number of what is material and organic which the spiritual perception can at once appreciate; In the month of May the 5th month now we have a further revelation of a People called out from mankind, redeemed and saved, to walk with God from earth to heaven. Hence, Redemption follows creation. Inasmuch as in consequence of the fall of man creation came under the curse and was “made subject to vanity,” therefore man and creation must be redeemed. Thus we have: Father, Son, Spirit, Creation, and Redemption which are the five great mysteries and five are therefore the number of GRACE. I truly believe that God and his angels are watching over me.  Ever since I started talking and walking as a baby, all I talked about was God.

We all have to recognize that there is so much sex and violence out here. People are grabbing lust/sex like it was candy. Give me… Give me… Raping children, babies, women, teenagers, young boys etcetera… etcetera. Internet Porn which may include drugs and alcohol is creating, molding your brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, uncles, and aunts into sexual deviates, burglars, and killers of this world. We need to lock it down and throw away the keys.I now advocate against Domestic Violence, Violence, Bullying, and Rape and if I can help just one person by them hearing my story then I have done what God wanted me to do.  I’m not done.  One step at a time, One day at a time.  I don’t consider myself a victim anymore but I am a Survivor!

Update 5/31/2017:  Everyone is doing a DNA test on to find their lineage.   I did mine because I wanted to see if I was matched.   I did my DNA testing last year but yesterday on 5/31/2017, I saw the last name of Aguilar who appeared in my recent DNA matches and who was very closely knitted to me.  I wrote him an email and asked who and where he is from and if his family knew Manuel Aguilar.   He said yes that was his father’s brother.   I choked back tears and said finally I knew that he is real and what my mom and uncles said was true.   I am so overwhelmed in my head right now.   I have met other family members and talk to them by phone.   My brother and sisters are either have expired because of age, you see this man raped my mom when he was 46 years old, his children now are now in the late 80’s and 90’s.  My brother Paul and I are the youngest of the bunch.   I’m just glad that my research is over with and I can move on from this.


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As I once heard and so concur with every beat of my heart to adding my own words to this powerful statement.male armor

Men you are made for GREATNESS, you are made to STAND UP and be MEN! You are made to DEFEND and PROTECT women and children, not stand by turn your head when murder or rape is occurring and do nothing.   You are not made to use women and leave them alone.  A real MAN never hurts a WOMAN! Be careful when you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears.  Remember where the WOMAN came from; a rib bone from the side was plucked from a man’s chest, not from his feet to be walked on and not from his head to be superior or to be controlled but under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be LOVED.  God did not create MAN to rape or murder a woman or to abandon her when they become volatile in sickness! You are made to be kind and great; gracious and strong; and stand for something.

female armor

Women you are not made for abuse; you are not made to be raped or murdered; you are not made to be controlled or turn into a puppet; you are not made to sit not knowing your worth or value.  You were created from Man’s rib to show that you can be a wife, and to impress upon a MAN of your choosing the nature and sacredness of the love and union that should exist between each other.  You are made to be fought for and given protection by the very person God created for you and that is MAN!  You are made to be treated with kindness; gentleness and be loved; be loved for whom you are inside and out, whether you become fat, thin, disabled, scarred, or ill! God did not burn words on a woman’s or child’s body to say “to be traded” “exchange” “sell” or “can be owned”.


Neither Man nor Female was created by God to rape, kill, control, abuse, or take advantage of one another. God through his Son whom he brought to this earth for a reason and that is to teach us about Love, Peace and Forgiveness. For God expressed His love for the world in this way: He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not face everlasting destruction, but will have everlasting life.  Millions were able to ascertain in our Lord’s teachings but thousands have not yet to learn. Then you have the minions of Satan who are out there to give out falsehoods known to you as temptations of sin.  You think of them as blocks or obstacles that which you move to the side, jump over, walk around and some just don’t have the strength, faith, or courage to do so.  Hopefully, for those who are out there… you will learn and not before this beautiful planet of Earth ends or your end of life as you know it… is diminished. God Bless!

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 I gave birth to a 7 lb 6 oz baby girl on 6/7/67. The courts may have changed her birth date surrounding her real birthday. She was born at Denver General Hospital and now known as Denver Medical Health One in Denver Colorado under the name of Chevette Rene’ Thomas. She is bi-racial mixed with Black and French Spaniard (Creole). It took me 30 days to make the decision of giving her up and 60 days to go to court. I went back to get her after the court hearing because I changed my mind but they already took her. Mrs. Helen Inez Richardson from Social Services informed me the family is from Omaha, Nebraska, or Cheyenne, Wyoming; him being African American and she being Caucasian. They were radio hosts and were planning to move to California because of a job offer. They talked me into giving her up for adoption. Either that or Ms Richardson adopted her and told me a lie. It all happened to quickly that day. I celebrate her birthday by getting away by myself to think of her birth and what she looked like when she was born. Her baby face is still etched into my brain. I see her beautiful perfect smooth skin, big dark eyes and her jet-black hair that layer down like silk on her face. She had a lot of hair on her head. I loved her then and still love her now more than ever.

Comment to my Daughter:

“They were going to change your birth date up to 3 days prior or after 90 days. They may have told you, you were born in California so you will not find me. They also said they may change your birth name because of the way I felt at the time of adoption, they wanted to make sure I didn’t go back to get you and they were right because I did just that”. I love you so much”!!!

I had to seek counseling after giving her up because I couldn’t bear the mental stress it caused me of giving her up. I loved her so much and cried every night for 1 year and still cry inside my heart. She needs to know why I gave her up. Every 2 years I go to the Vital Statistics here in Denver and leave my contact information in case she tries to get in touch with me. Her Birth name was Chevette Rene’ Thomas;  her fathers name is John Al Thomas.  I named her before the car chevette came out. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. I now have 3 sons, 9 grandsons, 2 granddaughters, and 5 great grandchildren. I would love to find her. I have been looking forever since I gave her up. Every face I see out there and I wonder is it her. Oh I yearned to find my daughter. If anyone knows of someone who fits this description and knows they are adopted, they can leave a message on this blog.  I don’t take kindly to people who joke or be rude.   I have a private investigator who will immediately press charges for fraud or harassment.  

Thanks for hearing me out.

NOTE: Ladies please if you have a deep dark secret as this one. Tell it!! Come forth with the truth. Many of us make decisions we don’t want to do and regret in that this is one decision in my life I would have changed. This memory can’t be removed from my mind because I was forced to make a decision from Social Workers, family, courts, and others. I was a young confused and very vulnerable teenager at this time. They used my rapes as a child to change my mind. Social Services said the father of my daughter has made threats to kidnap her. He in no way has said this as he told me 10 years later. Also find out that when I went back to get her, they would have had to give her back to me and that’s not what they said to me.  If you are her or not certain, adoptees whose adoptions were finalized between 1951 and 1967 should be able to get your original birth certificate with your birth parents names listed! On Adoption records themselves.


1. Adoptions finalized Process Prior to July 1, 1951

Records remain sealed except via court order

2. July 1, 1951 to June 30, 1967

Records open to adoptee

3. July 1, 1967 to August 31, 1999

Records open to adult adoptee (18 years of age or older)

4. September 1, 1999 to present

 Records remain sealed except via court order


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VonDeritt’s Myers Preliminary Autopsy (Full) (Video)

You may disagree to agree.

Listening to the hour long preliminary autopsy report 3 times of Dr. Wecht was painful.  As I closed my eyes, I imagined myself running up that steep hill being shot; falling to the ground as the one shot tore into the back of the leg shattering the femur.  When Dr. Wecht was describing that fall, it was like I was seeing my husband (former) fall to the ground when his ACL/PCL tore.   My husband couldn’t move at all and was in so much pain.  I can imagine how much pain VonDeritt Myers was in when that happened to him that shot had to floor him completely.  In my mind I can visibly see this police officer take advantage of this situation and knowingly climb up this hill to where VonDeritt Myers was lying in a heap of pain and that’s when the police officer shot one more time down toward VonDeritt Myers’ head hitting as the bullet penetrating straight down into his temple as the residue from the gun shot sprayed VonDeritt Myers’ hand as he had his hands up saying No No No then became silent.   This is what I see as I close my eyes as I heard the autopsy report the 3rd time.   My body bent over trembling, the inside of my soul and heart breaks as the tears roll out for this young man.  As those same tears were dropped for Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin and many more.   God has blessed me with 3 sons, and 12 grandsons and 4 granddaughters.  I want them safe! Hoodies UP! Hands up! Don’t Shoot! No Justice! No Peace!  End Racism! End Police Brutality!

Listen below to the Dr. Wecht’s Preliminary Autopsy Report.

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Who is selectively leaking information to help Officer Darren Wilson UPDATED BELOW

Well stated by Frederick Leatherman, please donate. a former law professor and criminal defense attorney. I have been following since Trayvon Martin was murdered.

Frederick Leatherman Law Blog

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Good morning:

We are witnessing a massive coordinated effort by unnamed officials to unlawfully influence public opinion and the members of a grand jury regarding the Michael Brown shooting by selectively leaking and spinning information in the police investigation file. The purpose of this massive propaganda effort is to discredit eyewitness accounts of the shooting, persuade the public that Officer Darren Wilson shot and killed Michael Brown in self-defense and condition the public to accept a decision by the grand jury next month to not charge the officer with a crime.

The St.Louis Post Dispatch reported today,

The official autopsy on Michael Brown shows that he was shot in the hand at close range, according to an analysis of the findings by two experts not involved directly in the case.

The accompanying toxicology report shows he had been using marijuana.


A source with knowledge of…

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The Worst Shot Came From The Justice System

I am without words. This is definitely Injustice! Thanks for sharing this and I will share it.

We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident

The case of Howard Morgan

Chicago, Illinois

Imagine being put on trial for four counts of attempted murder, four counts of aggravated battery with a firearm against a police officer, and two counts of discharging a firearm.

The jury acquits you of the two counts of firing a firearm and four counts of aggravated battery with a firearm.  Logically, you would think that a finding of not guilty would also be entered on the charges of attempted murder, but the jury deadlocks on those charges.

According to your defense attorneys, ten jurors considered you not guilty of attempted murder, and two others would not agree.  The judge declares a mistrial.

Then imagine being put on trial again and the court orders that the second jury cannot know that the first jury acquitted you on the charges of discharging a firearm and aggravated battery.  The second jury enters a conviction for…

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Why does Racism exist, the word Racism did not exist until the 1700’s when the “founding fathers” that was all “white” when they signed the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 to free the slaves by Abraham Lincoln?   What happened after that they had to keep control of who went whereby former slaves, former owners, and former whoever.   Race groups were created by the United States Government beginning in 1790 called Census Reasoning’s to keep track of Free White Males and Slaves. Then in 1850, it shifted to Color White, Black, or Mulatto. Then in 1870, it expanded to “C” for Chinese/Asian “I” for Indigenous. Then Enumerators were added to the Black Race, Quadroons and etcetera. As the years progress the people started to become more diverse, the Government couldn’t catch up; four color categories White, Black, Yellow, and Red label came into effect with their enumerators. Now people who were born in America have been categorized (let’s define the word categorize” cat·e·go·rize ˈkadəɡəˌrīz/verb place in a particular class or group.) with their ancestors origins who were born in Europe were put in “White” labels; Africa were put in “Black” labels; Asia, Japan or eyes that were slanted were put in “Yellow” labels; Indigenous, Israel were put country  Red Labels who knows probably more from those countries were put in the “Red” labels.  I always thought that the  Red Label of Race was for communist countries. Then the people from Cuba, Mexico, Puerto Rico, and Spain started to complain about their cultures so the United States made two new labels Brown Race and Bronze Race. In 1970 they moved the Mixed Race to the Brown Race; if you are mixed with Black, you are no longer considered Black, if you don’t know this you do now but by the standards of United States Government Census Bureau you consider Brown.  The United States or the Census Bureau has conveniently forgotten to give this information out to anyone. Anyway, you have been tagged, labeled, should I say QR’d.  Did you know that refusing to fill out the Census Bureau form is a federal offense and they can give you jail time or fine you $500-1000?  That’s how important it is to the government to keep us divided.

I mean really if you think about it the “white” man made up the color schemes and now everybody is proud to be those colors because we were and are brainwashed to accept it.

After all these years, it started off with one group yelling “White Power” “White Pride” followed by “Black Power” “Black Pride” than “Yellow Power” “Yellow Peril” it was one group of people to the other groups of who had the power over the other groups, like flexing their muscles at a competition show.   The Yellow power group was behind the Black power and joined forces over the White Power but who had Power over the Red Power group?  Which none of this makes sense to me.  In reality, honestly, there is only one power “Human Power”.   We all bleed the same!

The colors all became a power struggle for one group toward another group, which we all know is now called Racism.   The word “Race” is no longer defines a person or a thing that runs from or to.   A Race now means a tribe or group of people is what the Government has initially brainwashed you to believe and call yourself. *Yup* a color!


For me, It all changed because as a child I never saw the difference of one’s skin color until I was forced to see it by Prejudice and Racial Abuse in the 70’s and 80’s, especially within my own family.   I always have said to myself “be proud of the ethnicity’s you are” not the colors the government gave you! My grandmother taught me what love was all about and she never taught me to hate.  My mom was too busy working to feed and clothe her children but thanking God for my Grandmother every day for her teachings.   This is why I wrote this and why I needed to explain it to you the way I understand it. I know some people out there don’t believe in God which is your choice but I do. You can’t take that choice away from me.  It was instilled in me when I was in my mothers’ womb.  I was not supposed to live, I came into this world by Violence, and I was conceived by rape.  So, in my opinion, when God created MAN, in the beginning, he created us in His image without being defined as a “color” but as a Human being!  God created this universe and the earth upon us to share and live with each other.  The weather and the climate changed the outer part of our bodies to look the way we look but never the inside.  We are all the still the same and we all breathe the same.  That has not changed since the first creation of Man.  With that, I claim no labels that are my God given Rights. If you ask me my origin, I am an American. If you don’t know what “Origin” means when asked, it means “where did your life start or where were you born? If you ask me where my ancestors were born I will say the United Nations although the government needs to be specific of what line of my family tree 2nd, 3rd, or 58th because I do have plenty. My ancestral tree is full of branches with over 5,000 to mention. Too many Eons/Decades have passed to say one Country. I am very proud of every DNA that I am even if I was conceived in Rape.  It is not his fathers or their ancestry’s fault that my biological sperm was a violent man.  Forgiveness!

Racism needs to end! If one needs to stop racism, you would think it would have to start within yourself by stop calling yourself a color.  It’s easy for me because I started a long time ago.  Teach your children their ethnicity’s not their race the government gave them.  Besides, I am who I am… there is a reason why Jesus himself says this, figure it out. This is just my IMO.

Racial Separation and Segregation by cities and communities must end.   Jobs and education must be the same for everybody!  Equality!  Killing and destroying each other because of hatred of one’s skin color is destroying God’s creation of MAN.  As the Bible says… One day we will be ONE Nation under God!  I already have two grandsons who are by the government standards are of ALL races and under ONE nation under God!  They were that from the very beginning in the first place if you think about it. It was MAN that divided Man by skin color, not God!



I always felt different since I was a child.  My family all spoke another language, that language is Spanish.  They never taught the children this language because they said this is America and we need to only speak English.  My family who was from the San Luis Valley of Colorado had already encountered the discrimination back in the 1930’s coming to Denver.   My grandfather who was tall and dark in complexion, very dark eyes, wavy black hair and my grandmother very light skin, red hair, and green/hazel eyes.   My mom a very mixture of her parents.   When I was 9 years old, we left to California and coming back from California to Colorado. My mom changed my name from a Hispanic name to a white last name, she said: “when I graduate from High School, I could find a job”.   I didn’t think anything of it nor did I ask.   My family tried to keep discrimination and hatred away from us as children.   Discrimination was known to me when I got to middle school that I realize so much hatred.   I was such a little thing for a girl at my age and shy.   I would hide behind the doors, in the bathrooms, and poles of the schools going to class from class.   I would watch the others kids play.   I would see fights among the other kids, the hatred, the name calling and how words that I didn’t understand as a child would learn.   I would go home crying every night. I made a friend, her name was Willa, and then her friends became my friends.  I stopped hiding behind everything.  They would walk with me, talk to me.   I love my new friends.   But and there is always a BUT in situations.   When walking home from school, I started getting called names, such as “N” Lover, rocks were thrown at me, I got beat up a couple of times.   I lived 45 minutes away from school; my friends started walking home with me.  That stopped.   I never told my mom.   Then my brother started to get into fights because of me.   Once again, my friends got their friends to protect him.   This is when I found what words such as “Discrimination” “Prejudice” and “Racism” meant. This was the beginning of 1960.    Then I became familiar with Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., and all those who were fighting the same thing they are fighting for now, “Equality”.  I became an advocate against violence and during that time and even rebelled against my own family.

Even though up above, you see, I mention about my grandparents and their skin color and told you the language they spoke but did not tell you their race.   By reading that part of it, you would think that I am by the Government standards would be what?   I will leave that up to you to decide.  Here is what I found in my DNA makeup.   My ancestry ethnic background is 29-31% Native American, Europe, Asia, Pacific Islander, Middle East, Africa and is a United States Citizen. The great news is  I am from the 12th Tribe of Abraham on my Grandfather side.   I am finding the same from my grandmother side but a little different.  When I go to my children’s ancestral tree, it stops because of slavery.   You see their ancestry is from Arkansas.   I will find them so they can know their history and they can pass it on to their children.   I don’t want them to have to wear vests to keep them safe.   I want them to have a life to carry on into the future. This hatred of Racism is killing people of color.

I know I keep repeating this but again the whole reason for Race labeling is to keep track of where people of ethnicity are residing; from the very beginning since slavery, days began. When you get rid of Race Labels hopefully you will get rid of Race profiling, it starts with the Government; Then the Racist Radical Groups.   Then the KKK or those who think the “white race” is supreme and pure took the Spanish word for black which is “Negro” and turned it into a racial epithet the “N” word.  I seen and read the books heard the stories of the South.   I remember when Martin Luther King was assassinated and Malcolm X! I remember the Black Panthers that marched in Colorado because I was there but they wouldn’t let me march with them.

We need to deprogram ourselves caused by the systematic indoctrination and categorization of Race by ethnic ancestry to keep track of.   Keep saying that I am who I am and I’m not a color!


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